How to Break the Drama Triangle That's Sabotaging Your Team

Let’s be honest:

Every team has drama.

Passive-aggressive emails. Martyr behavior. Leaders stepping in to “save the day”… again.

But most of the time, the real issue isn’t the people —

It’s the pattern.

And that pattern has a name:

The Drama Triangle — a model developed by Dr. Stephen Karpman that explains how conflict and dysfunction keep teams stuck.

Here’s how to recognize it, break it, and build something better.

The Drama Triangle: What It Looks Like at Work

There are 3 roles people unconsciously play in drama:

Victim → “This isn’t fair. I’m powerless.”
Villain → “This is your fault.”
Hero → “I’ll fix it.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s the kicker:

Even well-meaning leaders often get pulled into the Hero role — trying to rescue people from discomfort instead of coaching them through it. And it keeps the whole cycle alive.

The Pattern That Keeps You Suck

The problem with the Drama Triangle is that it feels helpful at first:

The Victim gets sympathy.
The Villain gets to be “right.”
The Hero feels important.

But long-term?

It drains energy, kills accountability, and destroys trust.

Flip the Triangle: From Drama to Empowement

The solution isn’t to call people out —

It’s to shift the roles into something more powerful:

Victim → Creator
Villain → Challenger
Hero → Coach

This isn’t about perfection.

It’s about choosing ownership over blame. Growth over rescue. Coaching over control.

3 Questions to Shift Out of Drama Instatly

Next time you feel your team slipping into drama, try these:

“What do you want to create or change?”
“What’s your role in this?”
“How can I support you without taking over?”

Final Thought

If your team keeps circling the same issues, it’s not a people problem.

It’s a pattern problem.

The Drama Triangle is seductive — but you don’t have to stay in it.

As a leader, you set the tone.

Step out of the triangle.

Invite others to do the same.

And start building a culture that doesn’t just survive drama — it outgrows it.

Your Turn

Have you ever found yourself in one of these roles?

What helped you shift out of it?

Drop it in the comments — let’s talk about it.